A Miserable Garage Sale

13 Aug

Saturday I had a garage sale. Actually it was a combination of a barn and  yard sale, but garage sale seems to say it all. I got out of bed at 5 AM and by 5:30 I was setting everything up. It was warm and the grass was wet with dew. By the time I was finished, just after 6:30, my sneakers were soaked and stuck to my sock less feet.


Nevertheless, I was thrilled. We had a ton of stuff and not just knick knacks, but furniture, antiques, classic toys, tools, art work, just all kinds of goodies and novelties. Like this really cool  pinball game that lights up. It’s from the early 1970’s and I was only asking $15. I also had a 1950’s Formica/Chrome Dinette set with 4 chairs that sell like hotcakes on Ebay. My wife and I decided we would not sell any clothes. This was going to be a high scale sale. No Junk.


Anyway, by 7:30 the sign was out by the road and my wife and I are sitting on the porch eating breakfast. We live on a very busy road so the traffic is almost nonstop. Because we are in the village, the traffic slows to 30 MPH just before it hits our house. Well, an hour goes by before anyone even stops. It was a lady who looks for junk to sell to the scrap dealer in order to make money. She spotted our very old metal outdoor chair which is all the rave today. People love to paint them pretty bright colors. They are now collector’s items and sell for a bit of money. My wife sells it to this lady for a measly buck and it gets tossed haphazardly in the back of her pick-up.


Another hour passes and still no one stops. It wasn’t long before I began to see a pattern. Humans are creatures of habits and they tend to all mimic each other. A lot of folks were either goose-necking till I thought their heads would fall off, or they window shopped. They would stop the car, make a quick scan of the contents, then speed off. I don’t believe anyone even saw the antiques in the back. Or the tons of fancy glassware. Or the old Fisher Price toys that sell extremely well at auctions.


By noon I was getting upset and antsy. I started to complain and murmur which the Bible says God hates. So after repenting, I decided to make a sandwich to shut myself up. A friend of ours came by to sell some of her stuff which only filled up one small card table.


Finally, 2 cars stopped. One was a gentleman in his 40’s who didn’t say or buy anything. The other was a young lady who bought an old battered dresser which we priced at $5. My wife didn’t have change for the $10 the woman handed her, so the lady said keep the $10!

By this time I was feeling a mite optimistic. However, another hour had gone by and still no one stopped and got out of their car. By 1 O’clock we had sold a plastic turtle sandbox, a small metal windmill and a cherub made of concrete. Our friend sold a necklace for $1.00. By 3:45 we were tired of the goose-neckers, so we took the sign down and packed up. In all, only six people stopped.


My neighbor, who had had an extremely successful yard sale 2 weeks prior and made over $200 the first day and had people coming every few minutes, came out of her house and looked our stuff over. I think she felt sorry for us and bought our twin bed, mattress and box spring included, that came with the house when we bought it a year and a half ago. I helped put it on her porch and we are still waiting for her to pay us.


So, will I have another yard sale? No! How about next summer? I doubt it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I find it offensive when people window shop from their cars. It’s anti-social and just plain rude.


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