Lesbians And Lawn Mowers, A Lethal Combination

29 Aug

This is gonna sound unbelievable, but no matter where I have lived, I always had lesbians living on the same road. This is in the country, not some big city. Once I even had 2 sets of them. One directly across the street and the other pair 5 houses down. I have had several apartments over the years and 2 years ago I bought a 126 year old house.  Yep, there’s a middle aged lesbian couple in a farmhouse almost as old as mine.


Here’s another thing that sounds strange. They always have a hard time starting their lawn mowers. You know, the kind with the pull rope. The gals across the street from me finally got smart and bought a second one in case the first gives them problems. Which it always does.

The one at my last apartment used to throw a hilarious hissy fit for all the neighbors to see. She would  huff and puff and yell obscenities until her partner came running out of the house to see what all the ruckus was about. This was the moment when I would pull a chair and watch out my living room window. It’s way better than watching some dumb comedy at the movie theater.

“What you yelling about?”

“What the **** do you think I’m yelling about?”

“”Can’t start the lawn mower?”

“Duh! I certainly wasn’t singing and dancing!”

“Did you remember to prime it first?”

“What do I look like, a lesbian? Of course I primed it!”

“Does it have any gas?”

“Look, since you seem to know everything, why don’t you mow the damn lawn!”

“I’m just trying to be helpful.”

“You’re such a lesbian!”





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